Handfuls of Hope
by Caligo Origuu
Summary: Everyone has regrets, things they wish that they could go back and change, do something different, do something better. What if they got their chance? A series of various characters and the things they might have changed. Anna, John, Gabriel
1. Anna: Unexpected Miracles

DISCLAIMER: Supernatural does not belong to me. It wouldn't be half so much fun to watch if it did because no one would have gone to hell, there wouldn't be nearly as much turmoil between the brothers, and then where would we get our dose of angst?

SUMMARY/TEASER: Everyone has regrets, things they wish that they could go back and change, do something different, do something better. What if they got their chance? A series of various characters and the things they might have changed. Anna, John, Gabriel

RECOMMENDATION: If you like time-travel/fix-it fics, like this one, you should definitely read "It's All in the Details" by Colleen. It's amazing, one of my favorite Supernatural fanfics ever.

WARNINGS: Updates on this WILL be sporadic; my muses are fickle and I have 'Viera' and 'Giants' to work on too. I'm not completely caught up on current events in the world of Supernatural and I'm inclined to write the characters the way I want them to be more than how they're sometimes shown, so they might come across as out of character. I may also mess with the theology of the show. Just so you're aware.

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PART ONE – ANNA

Chapter One – Unexpected Miracles

_"Here goes nothin'."_  
_"Sammy! - Sam!"_  
_"I'm really sorry."_  
_"Anna."_  
_"Michael-"_

A scream tore from Anna's throat as the archangel's power burned her mortal form to ash before she could so much as take another breath. The price for going against heaven's plans, and all for nothing. She hadn't stopped Sam from being born, and there was nothing to stop the apocalypse from ripping the world to pieces except the battered wills of two human brothers. No matter how much she'd liked the Winchesters once, there was no doubt in her mind that the angels and demons would get their way eventually. No one could stand against such might forever. If only she'd been strong enough to stop it. If only she'd acted sooner.

The whisper of power that curled around her tattered, fading grace took Anna by surprise, but she didn't fight it. Even if she'd felt well enough to struggle away, there was something calming in that power, something that tugged at her heart and made it ache with longing. She let it take her where it willed.

So it was that Anna found herself drifting, wounded and weak, over a big white tent next to a country house in Nebraska. Prayers drifted up from the dispersing throng below; fervent, angry, disappointed, pleading, confused. Unsurprising. Familiar. They felt like an echo of her own weary soul. But there was faith there too, stubborn and hopeful and certain, if a little tattered around the edges. It seemed like far too long since Anna had felt faith like that herself. The warmth of it drew her closer, and soon she was searching out the brightest light among the thinning crowd.

It was one heck of a surprise to find that bright light in the presence of none other than Dean Winchester. Anna hovered, invisible and uncertain. He looked… young. He was grown up and all, there was a familiar weight of responsibility dragging at his shoulders, but the lines of his face were softer somehow and the spreading taint of desperation was nowhere to be seen. She winced a little, wondering how much she'd added to his burdens when she'd gone after Sam. They hadn't deserved that betrayal, but she hadn't seen any other way. Not that it had done any good in the end anyways.

"You know...I went back to see Roy," said the blond woman.

Discomfort flickered briefly across Dean's face, but he made himself nod. His usual bravado was nowhere to be seen. He wasn't faking bravery or cheer or even clinging to anger. It was… odd to see him in such a state of weary calm. "What happened?"

"Nothing." Layla settled gingerly on the end of the bed, meeting Dean's gaze when he sat down beside her. "He laid his hands on my forehead but nothing happened."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry it didn't work."

"And Sue Ann. She's dead you know? Stroke."

"Yeah I heard. You know Roy's a good man. He doesn't deserve what's happened." They were quiet a moment before Dean pushed forward, a mix of guilt and apology hidden in his even tones. "Must be rough. To believe in something so much, and have it disappoint you."

A gentle smile pulled at her lips. "You wanna hear something weird?" He met her eyes almost reluctantly. "I'm Ok. Really. I guess if you're gonna have faith...you can't just have it when the miracles happen. You have to have it when they don't."

He could only stare at her, but his resigned mood seemed to lighten just a little, and a flicker of something Anna was tempted to call awe slip into his eyes. "So what now?"

Layla shrugged. "God works in mysterious ways." She lingered, reaching out to touch his face. Then she stood. "Good Bye Dean."

Layla couldn't see Dean's face as she walked to the door, couldn't see the way he closed his eyes fighting pain and longing, but Anna could. It tugged at her heart, and made her wish…

"Hey," Dean stopped her, pushing to his feet. Nervous, a bit uncertain, he cleared his throat. "Um. Well... I'm not much of the praying type...but...I'm gonna pray for you."

And Layla's face lit up. "Well...There's a miracle right there."

The woman left and Anna stayed just a moment, silent and unseen, to watch the emotions flicker across Dean's face. Longing, loss, guilt. Wondering. Then she slipped out of the building, an idea burning bright in her mind.

Maybe she hadn't completely failed after all. Maybe she could still change things. She'd already broken most of the rules of messing with time; what were a few more? And this time she wouldn't do it at the cost of hurting her friends.

Layla didn't even question when Anna came to her and told her she was an angel of the Lord. Even before Anna told her she could heal her, there was a "yes" on her lips.


	2. Anna: A Step Ahead

PART ONE – ANNA

Chapter Two – A Step Ahead

It wasn't exactly a traditional possession. Even if Anna hadn't been far too damaged to take consistent control, she was _tired_, her spirit was battered and worn and she had no desire to face the world every hour of every day. She was happier letting Layla keep control as much as possible. Sometimes she slept in the back of her vessel's mind, basking in the glow of the woman's gentle, steady faith as he powers slowly, carefully demolished the cancer inside her. When she was awake they talked and planned

Anna had heard a lot over angel-radio about the Winchesters' history, and she called up every scrap of information, every rumor and every clue to piece together a more or less accurate account of what was going to happen and, more importantly, how to change it for the better.

She kept no secrets from her vessel; Layla didn't seem to need protecting, remarkable adapt at taking everything in stride. The woman's optimism balanced out Anna's recent outbreak of fatalism, and between the two of them they managed a plan that could change everything- _if_ it worked.

_It has to work,_ the determination echoed through Layla's mind, soothing the stirrings of nervousness that tried to surface as she stepped out of her car in front of a church in Blue Earth, Minnesota.

It wasn't a huge place, but it was beautiful: old but well-kept with massive stained glass windows on each side. The door was unlocked and they slipped inside quietly. The familiarity of a place of worship warmed them both, making it easier to focus, and when the pastor standing at the front of the church looked up, Layla managed a smile that didn't shake.

"Good morning. Can I help you?" the pastor asked in amiable tones as he stepped around the pulpit.

"Pastor Jim?"

"Yes?"

There really wasn't time to dance around the subject. "I know you're aware that there are monsters on this earth. There's a demon after the Winchesters, and I'm afraid it's going to try to kill you to get to them." His body language changed in an instant. Shock slid quickly into wariness; he looked poised to bolt. "I'm here to keep that from happening," she assured.

"Who are you?"

"Layla Rourke. I'm… just someone who met Dean and Sam a few months back. But-" Layla felt tingling heat across her shoulder blades as Anna let loose her grace enough to stretch out her wings, showing the shadow to the stunned pastor. "I'm also the vessel of an angel, Anna." It wasn't her first name, but Anna was the one she'd chosen to keep, the one that mattered.

"Angel," Jim echoed faintly, staring.

"Surprise." She offered an understanding smile. "There aren't many running around on earth right now. Not supposed to interfere, you know? But, well, with all the demons involved, Anna thought it'd be best to even out the odds a little." That was true, if not the whole truth. It was easier just to skip the whole explanation about time travel if they could manage without it. "Do you know anything about devil's traps?"


	3. John: A Walk in the Garden

IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is _**completely**_ unrelated to Anna's storyline. Alternate universe. I really ought to finish Anna's series before I post this one and certainly before I post Gabriel, but I've hit a bit of a block on all things fanfiction and I'm hoping that posting what I already had written will help coax my muses out of hiding. Hope that doesn't confuse anyone too much.

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PART TWO – JOHN

Chapter One – A Walk in the Garden

_"Why are you saying this stuff?"_

_"I want you to watch out for Sammy, okay?"_

_"Yeah, dad, you know I will. You're scaring me."_

_"Don't be scared, Dean."_

Heaven wasn't quite what John had expected on the very rare occasions that he thought about eternity, but he'd take it over hell any day. He had his boys to thank for that freedom and the satisfaction of seeing Yellow Eye's death that finally let him rest. He had his boys to thank for a lot- and probably an apology or two to make- when he saw them again. And he _would_ see them again. John was determined to figure out a way to travel between individual heavens by the time his sons joined him there.

It really never occurred to him that either of them might end up in hell after everything they'd done, everything they'd given up to protect people- if _he_ got into heaven it was an easy assumption that they would too- so when an odd man claiming to be an angel pulled him from his heaven into a massive garden to tell him that both his sons were going to suffer through hell if the future was left untouched, he was understandably horrified.

Although threatening the angel delivering the message was maybe not the wisest thing to do.

"_What_ did you say?!" John growled, one fist clenched tightly around Joshua's collar. The angel's mildly chiding expression did little to sooth his temper.

"Your sons are going to go to hell," Joshua stated patiently. A wave of his fingers was enough to force John to still before he could follow through on his impulse to punch the angel. Joshua's lips twitched into an understanding little smile even as he gently pried John's fingers from his shirt. "_If_ the future is left untouched. Do try to focus, John. I'm trying to give you a chance to change things."

There was a moment of silence, then John he lowered his fists, barely noticing that the paralysis was suddenly gone. "What?"

"I can send you back. You can save your sons." Confident that he had Winchester's full attention at last, Joshua felt free to go back to sweeping as he spoke. The steady, familiar rhythm of his broom against the path fed calm into his soul even as he described the painful downfall of his brothers and sisters and his Father's beloved human race. He told a tale of death and crossroads deals, of demons and hell gates, of angels and seals and chosen vessels.

"They're determined to start the apocalypse now. It isn't time. This isn't how Father meant for it to be, but they stopped listening long ago." Joshua leaned on his broom and studied the human who would soon hold the fate of the heaven, earth, and hell in his hands. Despite being somewhat overwhelmed, fierce determination overshadowed everything else in John's soul. "Everything hinges on your family, your sons, which gives you the power to change things. But it has to be your decision. Do you want to go back?"

John didn't hesitate.


	4. Gabriel: Choosing Sides

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Just a reminder, this is _**completely**_ unrelated to Anna's and John's storylines. Alternate universe. I love Gabriel's last speech and it was such a shame that he never got a chance to live up to all that potential. But hey, that's what fanfiction is for, right?

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PART THREE – GABRIEL

Chapter One – Choosing Sides

_"I've been riding the pine a long time. But I'm in the game now, and I'm not on your side, or Michael's. I'm on theirs."_

_"Brother, don't make me do this."_

_"No one makes us do anything."_

_"I know you think you're doing the right thing, Gabriel. But I know where your heart truly lies. - Here. Amateur hocus pocus. Don't forget, you learned all your tricks from me, little brother."_

Mercilessly Lucifer twisted the sword in his gut. It should have been the end. Gabriel could feel his grace begin to burn out, torn loose by the fatal wound. Or rather, it should have been fatal. The anguishing flare of pain certainly felt like dying, but when he tried to jerk free in instinctual panic, an unexpected burst of power surged at his call and Gabriel was suddenly free. An illusion died in his place, solid and real enough to fool even Lucifer so long as he was certain enough of his victory to not check too closely, and Gabriel fled.

He'd been hiding from his family for a very long time. Usually it was enough to throw up a few wards and masquerade as a trickster, but if he was ever really worried that someone was on his trail, he could do better. Most angels could time travel, given enough power or motivation, but Gabriel had learned long ago how to hover in that space outside of time; it made the perfect hiding spot.

So he hid and healed, left alone with his thoughts. They didn't make for very good company. He was mad at his brothers for dragging the whole of heaven, earth and hell into their argument, mad at his dad for letting them. He was mad at himself for getting involved when it almost cost him his life, and mad at himself for having every intention of going back and risking his life all over again. He'd meant what he said about choosing the humans. They were crazy, chaotic, messy, flawed little creatures, but they were worth saving. He'd rather not have it cost him his life though. He would have to be smarter about it next time; no more getting close enough for Lucy to gut him with an angel blade.

It was then, drifting along the edges of the time streams and wondering what to do that he felt a tug on his soul like he hadn't felt in a very, _very_ long time. He'd stopped listening, stopped waiting for any direction outside his own long ago. His Father had been silent, missing, and Gabriel hadn't wanted to hear anything from heaven. He'd surrounded himself with people and constructs of his own making, with illusion and chaos and noise, and he hadn't wanted to be shown any path but the one he was on. But things had changed. He had changed. Quite frankly, he was finally lost enough to be open to suggestions.

The faint pulling at his grace was nothing like the clear instruction he'd once had, but it was enough to wake his curiosity. He figured it couldn't hurt anything to check it out, at least.

Gabriel slipped back into reality some short time before he'd left it. He couldn't remember the last time he'd answered a prayer personally- he was an archangel after all; even when he'd been living in heaven that had hardly been part of his everyday job description. Still this- this was almost too interesting to pass up. He would never admit to feeling a tug of sympathy for the utterly forlorn desolation that drove Dean Winchester to pray.

Dean stood in the midst of wreckage. Old, broken cars sat in organized chaos around the yard while his far more broken brother screamed in the basement of the nearby house. Gabriel spared a moment to wonder whether he'd regret what he was about to do, decided that the look on their faces would probably be worth it, then snapped his fingers and appeared with a grin.

"Heya, Dean'o. Did ya miss me?"


End file.
